Once the adult child discovers that their parent had or is having an affair, there is an evaluation that occurs. In that evaluation, they consider if it is an active affair or one that occurred in the past. They look at to what degree they have been lied to. They look at whether or not the affair was ‘justified’ in their minds. They consider whether or not drugs/or alcohol were involved. In some cases, they deem an affair as ‘understandable’ given the circumstances as they understand them. This evaluation determines to what degree they tolerate the infidelity. Since there are so many variable, there are no cut and dried answers as to how adult children respond. The infidelity will be considered through the template of the value system they have. In some cases there will be toleration, yet that does not mean acceptance. Even in cases where toleration occurs, the betrayal involved creates distance in the relationship that does not go away easily.
Regards,
Jeff Murrah
