Traumas and sexual addictions are often found with each other. Like salt and pepper, when you find one, the other is often nearby.
These traumas could have occurred in early life or in their adult life. Traumas could be physical, emotional or spiritual in origin. Despite the various sources of trauma, the effects are similar.
With physical traumas, in some cases, when the trauma includes organic brain damage, there are some difficulties in controlling the drives in their life. If they had a trauma and have shown problems regulating emotional extremes (anger, sex, eating, etc.) then it would be worth exploring the possibility of the existence of a drive control problem.
Sudden changes in sexual after experiencing a trauma always signals potential problems.
With emotional traumas, the victim finds some way of reducing the pain. Although they’re seeking a way of reducing their tension or anxieties, the method of reducing these feelings may lead to compulsive behaviors.
Compulsive behaviors often hide behind other more acceptable compulsions. In cases where the trauma was extreme, there may be some ‘traumatic bonds’ that developed.
The victims of trauma can at times develop an addiction to the fear associated with the trauma. Fear brings the release of powerful brain chemicals.
The brain knows that it wants stimulation. Since the victim knows that fear brings about the stimulation, they often engage in ‘dangerous behavior’ to give them their fear fix. These are cases that need the help of a counselor.
Spiritual trauma can also be a factor. When individuals were raised in rigid homes, there’s a greater likelihood of sexual addictions developing, compared with other homes. Among sexual addicts, 77% come from rigid homes.
If you or your spouse have any of these factors in your life and affair situation, you will need to explore the possibility of a sexual addiction underlying the affair.
If you are looking more depth on the topic, the video, “Dealing with Affair Trauma” goes into the many changes that occur and ways of dealing with them.
Best Regards,
Jeff
