There are many reasons for affairs. Although some traditionalists use the blanket response that “it’s a character issue”, such reasoning doesn’t address the issues the way they need to be addressed.
The spouses involved in the affair, their family and friends each look for short answers to explain the events and somehow get their ‘home team’ off the hook. The pain is not enjoyable for anyone.
I can understand the desire for short answers as a way of providing an explanation and reducing the pain.
One area where the short answers do not settle matters is in the case of brain traumas. With some brain traumas, the brain is damaged.
When the brain is severely damaged, the usual mechanisms holding drives and desires in check become ineffective. Not all trauma will produce these effects, but some do leave the person more vulnerable to affairs, and sexual acting out that they would not have considered prior to the event.
People don’t often think about brain trauma and affairs as associated, but some relationship does exists. Does this mean that all people who have affairs are brain damaged? NO.
What it does mean is that some of the people with brain damage are more likely to have affairs after the trauma. Trauma puts pressures on the brain that re-wire parts of it. When spouses and families are looking for explanations for an affair, brain traumas are not often considered.
If the affair happened after a severe wreck or accident, this is an option that you’ll want to explore with your healthcare providers. When selecting a healthcare provider, make sure that they understand the physical and psychological aspects and ramifications of trauma.
When you’re dealing with trauma effects that aren’t due to organic brain trauma, the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma” is something worth considering. You’ll learn about trauma and ways of dealing with it. You’ll discover methods of moving past the trauma.
Rather than staying stuck, you can move past it.
Best Regards,
Jeff
