In the chaotic days after finding out about an affair, there is often a desire to ‘take revenge’ on the adulterer. Revenge does little to repair the relationship. When in the midst of pain, the thought of revenge is tempting. Taking revenge will inflict pain on one’s spouse, it will provide a release of negative emotions, but it will not bring healing. Revenge only brings more hurt. Fighting a hurt by inflicting more hurt is not good logic nor does it provide any emotional healing to the relationship.
The desire to inflict hurt takes on many shapes. There may be a desire to inflict physical pain, emotional pain or both. Punishing the adulterer, changes the focus to pain, rather than focusing on healing or relationship building.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
