Dealing with the discovery of an affair often poses a challenge. The challenge is “How should I react?” In posing the question, it assumes that there is one right way to react or that the person to whom the question is directed is some kind of buddha or rabboni who has all the answers. The question does not have one ‘right’ answer. When I am faced with such questions, it is often easier to address “How should I NOT react?” Knowing what the limits are provides some direction. Some of the limits to consider include legal and moral limits. It sometimes helps knowing what they cannot legally and morally do.
Couples often have both baggage from previous relationships in their life and history of their own relationship. They also have preferred styles of reacting to such situations. The mixture of each of these combined often determines how a person reacts. With some, it may be crying, or lashing out, or a slow burn. However they react, there is little that a person can do to fully prepare them for such a situation.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
