A difficult question to consider is whether or not serial marriages are any better than serial affairs. Both propositions involve multiple relationships and loves. Firstly, it is unclear whether you can really love multiple people at the same time. It is more likely that your feelings towards different individuals change as they move into and out of your life.
In the case of serial marriages, the parties involved attempted to have their relationships with all the legal authority and sanctity associated with marriage. There is no question that these unions did not last any more than a ‘normal’ marriage would.
A serial affair on the other hand is much more problematic. Being involved with multiple people at once is morally dubious to say the least. There is all the guilt and drama that come with cheating.
In each case, you’re dealing with a revolving door of relationships. You can’t really say you love one person in these cases because you don’t really know them, and then move on to the next. In a situation where you’re going from relationship-to-relationship, for that brief period of time, it seems like nothing is wrong. But emotionally, this isn’t very healthy or sustainable.
Those in serial marriage often experience less guilt than those involved with serial affairs. In each case, there are often trails of destroyed lives and dreams in their wake. A ‘love them and leave them‘ mentality permeates both.
Although the social status of marriage makes the pain of broken promises more tolerable, these relationships often have many issues associated with fears of rejection, torn loyalties, doubts regarding trust and uncertainties regarding the commitment of the relationship.
Since both these arrangements are not likely to last, there is the added problem that you can move from one relationship into another without really dealing with the problems of the previous union. The fact is that once a relationship ends, it should end and not just be replaced by another like-for-like one.
Very often the issues that split up the first marriages are carried over in the subsequent marriages and are often projected onto the spouses who ‘remind’ them of their exes. This can lead to further pain and hurts and can cause the pattern to continue.
In both cases, it is very difficult for people involved with multiple relationships at once to do any real healing or work on themselves because you never have a chance to take stock of your life and come up with realistic goals.
Best Regards,
Jeff
