Can you or your spouse cheat on facebook (or MySpace)? YES!
Social Network Sites are powerful, either for good or for evil. They can be used to promote a business, and obtain sales. They can also resurrect the ghost of dead girlfriends and repair bridges that should have been burned and stay burned.
The social network sites allow for people to meet and connect. Rather than go to a singles bar or supermarket, you can do it from the convenience of your computer, or smart phone. It is becoming increasingly easier to cheat on facebook than to call up old flames. A recent study in the UK found that 41% of cheaters did so with facebook.
One of the dangers with facebook is that it allows you to re-connect with old friends, and old flames. Although you may tell yourself that it has been years since you saw those people and that you and they have changed…You would be surprised at how quickly those old feelings can return.
Old high school crushes and college lovers can once again return in living color on facebook.. Parts of your past that you wanted to leave behind are now on-going. In many ways, facebook is like high school reunions on steroids. Facebook allows them to know more about you than you may realize. If you ever told yourself, If only I had known then what I know now, well….facebook allows people to continue with their unfinished business from those days gone by. Those old flames are able to find you and catch up with you quickly.
Part of the facebook danger is in your brain. Once your brain is programmed to respond to people in a particular way, that connection stays there. Those old mental connections made years ago can be switched to the on position with a few clicks. Those old feeling and emotions can be turned on again. Old flames can re-ignite very quickly because the connections are still in your brain. Facebook allows those old connections to surge once again.
With facebook, you do not need to meet and introduce yourself again. You start with the relationships you once had with those people. What may start off as ‘catching up’ can quickly lead to ‘hooking up’. The phrases used for these activities are very apt for what happens.
What that means is that you may need to work with your spouse on deciding which friends to connect with and for them to connect with. Rather than dismiss the possibility of old flames, recognize the potential danger.
Remember, a thief can’t steal what he can’t see and desire. The thief sees something they like, begins desiring it, then steals it. Likewise, a cheater can’t have an affair with someone who they cannot connect with. When they connect, they begin desiring and then they fantasize, then they cheat.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
