During the recovery from the affair, you will need an active spiritual life. You will need strength that is not in you. You will need help from God. You need help with forgiveness, with direction, and with strength. You will need hope. There will be times of discouragement as you assemble the fragments of your life.
It is essential to get your own self in order before you begin trying to change your spouse. You will need time to think, time to study, time to pray, and time to meditate on what you are learning. Amusements and distractions will occupy your mind and take up time when you may need to be using it for constructive purposes. Not only will you need emotional healing, you will need spiritual healing. Healing takes time. Healing requires patience. In some cases, you may be the one making changes, in other cases, you may have to wait for other people or circumstances to change. Either way, the changes will take time. Time means waiting and waiting means patience. It also requires effort. Marriages are not healed by doing nothing. You will need to take action.
Once again, as part of your spiritual life during recovery, you will need to
-study
-pray
-think
-meditate
-wait
These are just a few dimensions of self-care that are needed in surviving your spouse’s affair. The first two chapters of my e-book on surviving your spouse’s affair deal with other aspects of self-care that you will need in order to avoid meltdown. If you do not have a copy, you need to order one.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
