Being that it is the week of Thanksgiving, you may want to take some time and find something to be thankful for. I k now that in dealing with cheating it is hard to imagine being thankful for anything. Although it may seem counter-intuitive, having a grateful or thankful attitude is key in overcoming bitterness.
When people hold onto their bitterness, they are setting themselves up for health problems and potential angry outbursts. The reason some of you never get over the affair goes back to your attitude. You can not always change your circumstances, but you can change your attitude. Thankfulness is a big attitude changer. Try to find something about the event that you can be thankful for. Whether it is being thankful that the cheater did not give you HIV, that he cheated with someone of legal age, that now he has to deal with two emotionally upset women rather than one, that the lover has not killed your family pet, etc. You may want to consider what you are thankful for in how you dealt with the cheating. You did not kill the SOB, you have not stalked the lover, you have not purchased a gun, or some other way that you maintained your composure. It may take some effort, but getting rid of bitterness is worth it.
Getting rid of the bitterness will take time. It will take letting go of one item at a time, of letting go of one hurt at a time. This Thanksgiving will not be like the ones in the past. Try to make the most of it. Surround yourself with either family or friends that you find comfort in and enjoy their company. Focus on what you can be thankful for rather than what you are missing.
For more information, I will be joining Doug and Linda of Emotional Affair for a webinar “Don’t let the Ho-Ho-Ho’s ruin your holiday” on Wednesday, December 8th at 6:00pm CST. Sign up information will be forthcoming.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D Murrah
