The cheater is often surrounded by an event termed “the affair fog”. Dealing with and getting out of the fog is often a challenge. I addressed the issue of the affair fog in more depth at Affair Recovery Group, where a special session was devoted to the topic.
While in the ‘fog’ you find yourself being more vulnerable to suggestions from the lover. Your spouse may say that ‘you’ve changed’ or ‘you’re different’. They are seeing that same you physically, but mentally and emotionally, you are not there with them. Your mind is on auto-pilot.
First, you will need to wake-up! You will need to engage your mind. Rather than allow it to be passive, you will need to get it active. Besides waking up your mind, you will also need to avoid activities which are ‘mindless’.
You want to be 100% there when you do things and when you talk with your spouse and kids. Making the choice to leave the fog is stepping in the right direction. While in the fog, you will not see things clearly, communicate clearly or engage effectively.
Your spouse needs you. You need you. If your relationship is going to work, it needs both parties to be FULLY engaged.
Best Regards,
Jeff
