There are some of you who view infidelity as an automatic reason for divorce court. You may very well have your reasons for thinking that way. You may feel so blown away by what happened that you do not know what option to consider.
Let’s take a hard look at the question “Is my marriage over?”. First, the affair does not disintegrate the relationship you have with the cheater. The nature of that relationship will certainly change, but it does not ‘chop’, ‘snip’ and terminate all interactions you will have with each other. There is no way that the relationship can go back to the ‘way it was’ either, but that does not mean that it is over or that all the good days are gone.
You and the cheater will have to honestly look at your relationship. It needs help. If the affair means that it is over, the amount of help your relationship needs may be more than you are willing to deal with. Physical pain means that something needs attention or action. This applies to emotional pain as well. Something needs to be done. Your needs are not being met, and neither are your spouses. In order to know what needs to be changed and what the best way to change it is, you will need to honestly assess what is going on.
The next time you ask “Is my marriage over?” You may want to ask yourself the follow up question “Do you want it to be over?” The answer to that question is often more telling in dealing with the first question.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
