Many of you feel guilt for the cheater’s affair. You know in your mind that you have not done anything ‘wrong’, yet you continue feeling guilt. Since it does not make sense, you may find yourself feeling confusion along with the guilt. It does not make sense and you want to know if you are ‘loosing your mind’.
Rest assured, you are not loosing your mind. When you do something out of the ordinary, which includes intervening and dealing with the cheater, confronting the cheater and spying on the cheater, there will be some discomfort. When your mind is faced with that discomfort, it puts that sensation in the ‘guilt’ category. Dealing with this type of guilt is about challenging the programming in your heart and mind from earlier in life. Dealing with an affair will take you out of your comfort zone. Your mind may understand what is going on, yet it will take your heart time to adjust. Part of that adjustment consists of dealing with the guilt generated by the ‘discomfort’ factor.
For more on dealing with an affair, and not loosing your mind, check out my e-book on Surviving Your Partner’s Affair.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
Very interesting! I’m not sure I would ever have associated my feelings of guilt with my reactions after DDay. Thank you for this new perspective.
blueskyabove,
I addressed the issue since I received several e-mails or comments where spouses asked about their guilt reactions when the other spouse had the affair.