Your husband may be a religious person and claim that the lover seduced him. Such situations do happen, although they are VERY rare. The woman may have came onto him, yet he chose to allow the seduction continue. He may even try to hide behind his religious beliefs claiming that he ‘would not’ do such a thing, BUT…he was seduced! If he truly believed what he espouses, he would have left when the situation became uncomfortable. Since most seducers take the path of least resistance, had your spouse left, they would not have chased after him. It is easy to throw accusations at the lover and demand “Who are you trying to seduce?” rather than to address the real cause of your problems with the accusation “What is your reason for cheating and not living what you have been preaching to me?” Yes, I know it is rather strong, but the cheater needs to have things strong in order to bring them back to their senses.
Lovers are not innocent either, but if you are wanting to turn your relationship around, start with the cheater. They need to assume the full responsibility for what happened, especially if they met more than once. When they meet the lover more than once, there is NO innocence. A second encounter is planned. When the cheater lies, they know what they did was wrong. When the cheater hides what they did, they know it was wrong.
She may have come onto your husband, but he allowed himself to be seduced. If what he said was true, he assumed a passive role, surrendered his will and lost control. If you husband losses control so easily, they have MUCH bigger problems than affairs. If they are seduced so easily, they need help. They may not only be incompetent in social situations, they may not be able to handle money, property transactions and other dealings. The cheater may plead ‘I couldn’t help it!’. Yet get their dander up when you take away all their responsibilities. If they can’t help it in one area, what makes you think that they can handle things in other social interactions without being seduced?
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
YOU nailed it Jeff…..compartmentalization is not a concept found anywhere is the scriptures…ONENESS, UNITY is always the calling for all . IN Jesus Christ we are made ONE with HIM ….
The key word there is ‘IN”
Apart from the LORD people MAY exercise impressive self discipline and self control which is admirable and produces successes in whatever area one cares enough to do so ….
But in dealing with temptation …as SPIRITUAL disciplined study and application of the WORD of GOD is required to ‘SEE” it coming ‘ and to ‘avoid ‘ all appearances of evil…
THe Word offers us the opportunity to LEARN to respect the sacrifice of Jesus Christ , fear the Lord and to learn NOT to want to cause Him any reason to be disappointed in our effort to lay down our hearts to obey HIM
IN this world …the command when it comes to sexual sin is ” FLEE fornication’ ….and ‘BE ye holy as Iam HOLY”
‘submit to GOD , RESIST the devil and he will flee from you…
Fleeing is wisdom especially in areas such as sexual immorality …even avoiding emotional infidelity
Which is often more difficult in a world where people are more like Bill Clinton who has demonstrated an inability to define the word “IS” is!!!! WHaaaaa? and HE was our president!!! and an OXFORD grad…so much for “higher” education …I guess it depends what your definition of ‘higher’ is !!
{oh I forgot ..He said he did not ‘inhale”! …….[chuckles].
Zaza,
I did not realize that you had such a sense of humor. You definitely have experience in relying on spiritual resources and many insights regarding the application of scripture. Sadly, many people do not avoid the appearance of evil or flee from sexual temptation. Instead, they aim straight for it, increase their speed and then ‘call out’ for Divine intervention to deliver them from temptation as they head toward it at full speed.
Even worse are those who wrap themselves in religious robes, then seduce others in the name of their religion, claiming that they are an agent of the God.
Rather than using a spiritual resource to deliver people from temptation, they use it to trap them and then use some curt statement like “It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission”.
Thank you for your continued insights.