Stealing Hearts

Some lovers have distorted ideas about what love is. In some of their minds, they believe that in order to show or prove that they are a man or woman, they need to steal someone away from their spouse. Somehow in their mind, by stealing the affection of others, they prove something to themselves and the world. By stealing the affections of others, they believe that they now have some sense of value.

Stealing hearts is no better than other types of theft. Taking things just because you can does not make it right. Taking the affections of another just because you can is not right either. Some lovers blame the theft of affection on their profession, which is a lame excuse. You may be a nurse, teacher, police officer, pastor or healthcare professional. The infatuation that others have for your vocation does not excuse you from taking what is not rightfully yours.

One of the things that makes affairs hard is the loss of your spouse’s affection and support. As a spouse you are entitled to those things. When you are cut off from those affections, the pain is intensified. Stealing hearts is often romanticized in movies, which makes dealing with it in ‘real life’ more challenging.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

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4 Responses

  1. Yes….so true.

    My husband began hurting me by scoffing at my trying to let him know how his behavior was subtle but it was unfaithful to me and it was also putting other women in danger of beginning to day dream about him and his intentions.

    As he was lured from his beginning walk in learning to love the Lord and becoming more informed from a personal study of the Bible….he was little by little being ‘conformed to this world’ as the Bible puts it …being effected more and more by corporate training programs …which in many ways further encourages attitudes and activities that corrode time and energy and soon affection from the marriage as well as encourages practices that are supposed to build the ‘office morale’ at the expense of the spouse and family time and focus.

    The Lord exhorts men in particular …since they WERE once the ones out in the world striving to support their families….to keep the Lord the focus of their thoughts…spiritually which also would strengthen their desire and loyalty to their wives .

    Todays world is more and more focusing the VALUE of a person’s existance on what they can DO for the STATE ,,,,a perspective that is from contemporary roots of communism and collectivism.

    With the various ideologies that are fed into the minds of the young of our society …evolution reducing man to animal status….sexual activities are reduced to ‘rights’ and ‘appetites’ to be fulfilled by whatever momentary stimulus comes up . Animals copulate due to ‘being in heat’ or instinctually …MAN being in the image of GOD is NOT an animal but those who are unlearned and ignorant of the Lord , many because it has been intentionally taught to them ….are now being given ‘permission ‘ and even encouragment to have sexual experiences for ‘practice”!

    Some of the appalling practices taught in the government schools are without any regard for the depth of the real meaning behind our sexuality …I believe it has been the aim not just of the god of THIS WORLD but those who will gain from the chaos that results in the minds, and hearts of people

    Even now we observe few young people who hope for a marriage that lasts …or the other side of this is that they believe that marriage can be successful if they find the ‘right’ person.

    Little is being focused upon character ….yet even with these Olympic games we can see respect for those who demonstrate discipline in physical training …but that does not follow that there is any spiritual wisdom being applied for the eternal goal of pleasing GOD and becoming strong in moral terms or the knowledge and awareness of the value of purity of heart. God is last in many minds ..the body and it’s appetites rule ….from Hollywood, to Government to the Churches focusing on the ‘Abundant Life’ NOW …which sounds good….and seems good ..but is destructive in many ways to the way GOD has intended man to glorify Him

    Sad….the COMPETIVE ‘ spirit that prevails as ‘good’ has not been curbed in marriage…Men often utilize the same ‘skills’ that are useful in war and sports competition to engage with their spouse…..God even told men to live with their wives in an UNDERSTANDING way …according to KNOWLEDGE because ‘she is the weaker vessel’

    This ‘weaker vessel ‘ is in reference to the design of a woman who is often more sensitive emotionally …A husband is to recognize that his wife is EQUAL but different …thanks to the feminist movement [ begun incidentally as I understand it as an “arm’ of the agenda to destroy the family …begun by a group of men rather than many think …a woman ..

    Feminism crammed the idea down the throats of men AND women alike that women are the SAME as men …even as GOD always promoted that men and women are designed different but are EQUAL .

    The man who does not realize the truth that ‘weakness’ does not invite domination will cause and imbalance in his marriage …and he will not realize his offense as he ‘wins’ or ‘rules’ his wife .

    The curse brought upon mankind by the Fall was in part the consequence of husbands tending to ‘rule’ over their wives….being the ‘head’ of the household has often been misunderstood to mean RULE or DOMINATE rather than what Jesus told his followers which was that they should not take authority over one another as the Gentiles do ….but that the greatest leader would be the greatest SERVANT.

    A man who obeys God ‘s word about being a husband will learn to serve his wife and love her as Christ loved the Church …sacrificially …and proactively initiating loyalty …priority ….protecting her heart and emotions from becoming insecure and fearful due to his flirting or other forms of what Jesus identified as infidelity

    He will also want to guard OTHER WOMEN from his actions or words defrauding them…even a single man is exhorted to protect women from the fleshly carnal aspect of his manhood…preserving it for his wife …and not wanting to violate the women who are NOT his spouse….

    I taught me children that they should check their emotions and not become involved emotionally until they marry …to save themselves and protect the others from being violated or defrauded…by emotions first and becoming in danger of sinful thoughts which can develop into sinful behaviors…which defile and cloud the ability of one to have a clear open communication with the Lord ..

    One key I taught them was …if all of your anticipations are lined up with God’s word [ will] then all your memories will be good ..and godly …because all actions are preceeded by thoughts

    God put it another way …frequently in his word….

    .2Cr 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

    Another way to ‘accomplish’ this is

    Jam 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

    When we become concerned with pleasing GOD …and obeying Him …from realizing the great good this is for us and our influences upon others…we get busy ‘submitting ” to GOD and since we cannot think TWO things at the same time ..the MIND that is ‘bringing into captivity EVERY THOUGHT to the obedience of Christ’ is not going to have ‘room’ to be lured by the vain reasonings brought into the mind by way of the various streams of thought from the Devil!

    The only way the Devil can gain control over a person is by way of thoughts….the devil WILL attempt to lure a person to SIN by convincing them that they can , ought to , or must ‘ ACT upon a thought, feeling or appetite which the devil is very aware of an CAN set a person up for being tempted as HE is the ‘god of this world ‘ even as he tempted Jesus …reminding him that ” the kingdoms of THIS world are HIS …as they were ‘delivered’ unto him!

    Thus man is NOT in neutral territory ..all of the present environment is ‘enemy territory ‘ and the devil is on a campaign to ‘steal , kill , and destroy’ the image of GOD which man is made in …since the devil has NO CHANCE of ridding himself of his own Creator who even gave the angels FREE WILL.

    The Devil’s aim is to gain entrance and intimacy to the mind of a person …he CAN THEN take control of the mind and through introducing thoughts that please the carnal flesh ..begin to urge the person to sin more and more …

    God IS in ‘control’ of HIS overall will being done ..with or without men and women choosing to be engaged with that plan ….The devil does not respect man’s soul….HE is out for himself and to usurp GOD from the throne of the heart of a person …to put himself in the ‘driver’s seat’ of as many human beings as he can convince to follow their fleshly desires and ideas….

    Man can ESCAPE this wicked spirit and the control by way of his weak areas he knows little or nothing of by his own fleshly natural mind IF he will ‘receive with meekness the engrafted word that is able to save his soul”

    The word of GOD taught to him by the holy spirit of GOD which comes INTO the person by way of the Word of GOD …

    1Cr 1:21 For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe.

    There is not excuse for ignorance of what GOD has provided through Jesus Christ …but todays world hears little of the word and few promote serving the Lord in truth …which is a HEART issue.

    God told man to TRAIN UP his children …in the word …in the knowledge of the truth and the Lord Jesus Christ

    Handing children over to others to raise does not excuse a man from this command and responsibility

    Little by little people are led now to believe government schooling and whatever their children are taught there is what is ‘normal’ and ‘good’ and even ‘necessary ‘ to ‘get ahead ‘ in this world

    God has commanded and made all of what is righteous, proper and even profitable for us to know not only for our lives living through this world …but also for our eternity

    Failing to get this message the workers complicit with the devil have increased..

    In the past the increase of people who neglected the Lord and disobeyed Him was brought down by the corporate consequences of sin converging upon civilizations many times to their implosion

    What now …the world is filled with unrighteousness..as God has told us FEW will be willing to seek out the truth and t o them WALK in it ….darkened understanding seems to have taken the lead as many are casting off the word of GOD and living in iniquity ..which is defined as ‘law LESS NESS”

    Isn’t this what we see all around…no respect for GOD’S law …and many who do not respect man’s rules of law….

    Is it any wonder that love is no longer defined by selflessness alone but the testimony of the media has taken the lead and lust seems to be the rule of the day .

    Many young people’s souls are being thrown into the fire as fathers fill their lust day after day either at the workplace , in their hobbies or some …sadly with sexual violations of themselves and others

    This ‘gap’ in morality is nothing more than what GOD warned would happen …and we do reap what we sow not just individually but as a group as well

    HOWEVER each one will give an account for their OWN response to the call that GOD has put forth …all are called as Jesus said

    ‘Jhn 12:32 And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all [men] unto me.

    Since the word tells us that GOD is not a respecter of persons…this statement seems to deny the idea that people are called randomly or specifically …the “CALL” has gone forth FROM the CROSS …and we are told that if we are going to follow JESUS we are to

    Mat 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

    Mar 8:34 And when he had called the people [unto him] with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

    Luk 9:23 And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

    This is THREE witnesses of scripture to confirm that the GOSPEL of Jesus CHrist is the Gospel of the CROSS….

    One person put it this way ….if we are following Jesus ..WHERE did Jesus GO?

    In this record he was on his way to the CROSS to put his FLESH TO DEATH in OBEDIENCE to the Father

    I don’t know about you but I did not get this message in many of the churches and speakers I have heard over the years

    Sacrificial love FOR GOD as demonstrated in the way GOD defined it was and has been replaced in many hearers ears with the prosperity doctrine or the ‘Jesus did it FOR us ‘ …in terms that I have witnessed has left people ‘free’ FROM the law of GOD rather than applying themselve to DOING what JESUS TOLD us to do …and thus walking not after the FLESH but after the SPIRIT ..which IS HIS word

    Thus your observations are VERY true in that without realizing the benefit of self denial in putting away our own fleshly desires and lusts and appetites to obey the words and commandments of GOD …we see that FLESH IS become the GOD of this age….it is ANTI …Christ ..that word “anti’ does not just mean ‘opposed to ‘ Christ ..but it also has a meaning ‘ INSTEAD of ” Christ …so then MANY NOW LIVE …as their OWN GODS ..fullfilling the lusts of the FLESH

    The FLESH ‘rules’ and the devil has free access to minds unconcerned with learning about what GOD has told us we need…and do not know…

    Man thinks he knows…he is “RICH” in his own estimation of what he knows …and thus ..he seeks to RULE

    Jesus ‘reversed the curse’ including that consequence for THOSE who apply the WORD of GOD to their marriage relationship …for husband’s who concern themselves with learning how to not only please GOD by representing Him as a loyal , faithful ‘head’ of his household as Jesus Christ is …but also by teaching by his life as he walks along learning all who observe him what a true husband looks like and behaves like

    What wife could not love a man who loves GOD this way

    I have witnessed men in ministry who treated their wives in shameful abusive ways …demeaning speech right in front of me ! It is a miracle that I believed GOD and continued in the word as I realized that this was not right and that these men were just not learned YET …Well …that may or may not have become the truth as those men were eventually left …and one of the wives I know of is now married to a very godly loving man.

    The devil wants to gain influence in the minds of people by getting intimately involved …first by some kind of way to gain access to their thinking about GOD …and then some sinful activity

    As GOD has told us …MY people are DESTROYED for lack of knowledge…it is LACK of knowledge of GOD and HIS WORD FROM HIM …allowing Him to ‘speak ‘ to us from within study of HIS word personally that leaves many open to the deceitful tactics of the devil

    GOd exposes and will protect us by way of knowledge of the things he had written in his word IF we will HEED the command to STUDY ..to SEEK

    The god of this world is a LIAR and the FATHER of LIES…HE is in COMPETITION with GOD ALMIGHTY even though there is NO “GOLD” …”SILVER ” or “BRONZE” at the end of the day for him

    There IS NOTHING that the devil has to look forward to ..but he KNOWS GOD loves man ..and so the devil strives to usurp the Lord by trying to gain access to the ‘throne’ of GOD which is the heart of each person ..WE are to be ‘housing ‘ the holy spirit of GOD …HIS WORD /SPIRIT is to ‘sit upon the throne of our hearts

    We are told in the FIRST commandment that we are to offer up our HEART to GOD …the throne of GOD ..the heart of a person is the SEAT of his disicions…’OUT of the heart come the issues of life’ …

    ALL decisions come from the ‘heart’ …of our minds…

    Thus we MUST take capitve EVERY thought to the obedience to the LORD …

    One of the missing understandings THESE days is that word “LORD” ….perhaps the better way to say it today would be “COACH” ….

    As the Olympians have demonstrated great respect to their coaches…notably the young lady gymnasts …as soon as they finished they went and stood in front of their coaches , looking into their coaches eyes as he spoke words of encouragment , correction …instruction to them so that they could do their best …and know what they did right .

    HOW would it look in marriages if every spouse looked into the face of Jesus Christ daily with the same respect , focus and intention to follow the instructions in righteousness that our ‘COACH” …our LORD has made for us to know how to navigate in this ‘enemy territory ‘ we are born into with the first birth!

    I say there is really ‘no contest’ once we learn how DUE our GOD is of our love and obedient devotion …..

    So …what IS that ‘prize’ these deceived receive when they STEAL a SPOUSE?

    They do not realize that they are being ‘driven’ by a devilish impulse…fanned by the hot fire of the god of this world who is only gaining a brief deceptive ‘pleasure ‘ as he thinks he has gained one of GOD’S ‘temples’ to use …and hopes to remain in control of until that body of that person expires….the soul of that person was BOUGHT with a price …by the LORD Jesus CHRIST

    But the person must hear and choose to respond to this news…by his free will .>>GOD WILL NOT FORCE or TAKE CONTROL of man ..it would violate HIS Character ..which is just , and holy …

    The devil however is seeking to control

    Anyone who tries to control another …by manipulation , by lure…by seduction ..is using methods that are NOT OF GOD ALMIGHTY …

    To learn how GOD works …it is advisable to read the WHOLE story that HE has made available

    The ‘win’ is eternal ..and really worth so much more than ANY earthly ‘prize’ …and certainly getting the spouse away from his marriage and family is NO PRIZE if a person really thinks about it .

    But then IF they were really thinking straight they would never go there …not for ANY reason!

    The outcome is just plain destruction …period!

    1. Zaza,

      It is sad how much damage is being done by ‘corporate training programs’. The classes that are supposed to help employees perform better have often been injected with humanistic ideas and new age concepts to the point of being more a form of re-programming.

      Feminism has a long history of having an adversarial position toward marriage. I do not understand how they blast marriage for being a form of domestic servitude, yet support and promote the servitude that accompanies military service. To me it is a double-standard and indefensible. Entering marriage with such a mindset creates many conflicts.

  2. WOW ….that was VERY LONG…sorry I am so ‘wordy’ …I find these things go on as if a ‘fountain’ coming up one thought after another….sometimes I am surprised as they seem to come around to a reasonable ‘close’! ;>O! hahaha…thanks for your patience in reading them!

  3. Thank you for you comment and patience in reading my very long and lengthy expositions . I often wonder what the value and purpose of all my searching out information has been but in addition to helping me to discover all the elements that have led to this situation …all the parts that may have been my contribution and what things both internal and external had brought about my husband’s decision to go the ‘distance’ and create such a mess….I hope that something of it all will be of use to the Lord’s work through my life….and perhaps help someone else

    Every life is distinct ….that is one of the casualities of communistic thinking …reducing human beings to THINGS instead of SOULS …souls that the God who created all things LOVES more than anything else He made.

    The godliess that function to serve the god of this word have done a masterful job of training up children as the Industrial Revolution took the men from their families…and the Bible was set aside for whatever reasons…time , energy or just allowing that an ‘expert’ in the form of a pastor was sufficient to inform and keep the relationship with Christ alive …not so …but probably contributed to the losses.

    Ultimately if a person is not knowledgable of the things GOD warns us of in the Bible about having an active enemy who is tireless in assaulting righteous thinking ..and thus become concerned and then equipped with the awareness of the need to identify and then be fortified against ones vulnerabilities in areas of character and seek wisdom ..then there is little to oppose the offerings and demands of THIS WORLD and those who love it and serve it’s master.

    Sadly …

    I thank you for your continued effort to enable people hurt from infidelity to gain some equalibrium ..and for me it is helpful to know I can speak …and maybe be heard.

    Even as recent as today …my husband is a stone wall in every aspect that might be useful to heal himself, me and our marriage

    It takes becoming meek….he is simply in no need of information of any kind .

    Rev 3:17 Because thou sayest, I AM RICH AND INCREASED WITH GOODS AND HAVE NEED OF NOTHING…and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:

    1Cr 8:2 And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.

    Luk 16:15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.

    Jhn 12:35 Then Jesus said unto them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.

    1Jo 2:11 But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes

    1Jo 4:6 We are of God: he that KNOWETH God heareth us;

    he that is NOT OF God HEARETH NOT us.

    HEREBY ….we KNOW the spirit of truth …and the SPIRIT OF ERROR

    The situation is NOT HOPELESS ….but he feels that it is …I think because it takes humility TOWARD GOD and then EFFORT to do THIS ….

    Rev 3:18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold TRIED in the fire, that thou mayest be rich;

    and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and [that] the shame of thy nakedness do not appear;

    and anoint thine eyes with EYESALVE, that thou MAYEST see.

    The ego pumping and arrogance encouraging of the Devil and the various institutions that serve to train up people to believe they are superior to others is astounding ….the Devil is behind pursuading people to go ‘for it’ …’it’ being the ‘gold ‘ of this world

    The “gold’ that this verse is speaking of is that which was ‘tried in the fire’ of adversity as one applies faith and obedience to the Word to one’s life.

    The value of faithfulness and loyalty has become very small ..except when a person buys a product and it fails to live up to the expectations……

    When integrity of character declines so does the various outcomes…whether it be relationships or products…we see what has happened in societies where dehumanization has been ‘successful’ in turning people into ‘workers for the state’

    Sad…..God is so right..even when someone has sinned and realizes their way did not turn out so well …some will still continue ‘head long’ into destruction …! So blindness is linked to pride …just as GOD told us!

    Eph 4:18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:

    Eph 4:19 Who being PAST FEELING have GIVEN THEMSELVES over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.

    This was their OWN SELF WILL that ‘gave them over’ and the verse prior to v18 tells us it was the “VANITY OF THEIR MINDS”

    The empty mind or one void of the content of truth is vulnerable!

    Eph 4:17 ¶ This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the VANITY OF THEIR MIND,

    The command of GOD is for us to “keep my commandments’ …’keep my words’ ….”be not a hearer only but a doer of my words’….why ? Jesus said ‘ MY WORDS ARE SPIRIT and MY WORDS ARE LIFE”

    So then …if we PUT THEM IN ….and become meek and obedient to them and consider them as we go along …we will be WARNED prior to being duped!

    Yes….I look back and SEE where I actually had ‘warnings” in the form of thoughts and even verses but I did not realize that the Lord ‘speaks ‘ to us through bring his words to mind!

    I have seen that many are looking or expecting some kind of event like we saw in the movie “The Ten Commandments’ where a booming voice from the heavens is ‘heard’ in actual ears…but the truth as I have become more invested in study of the word is that in TODAY”S season ….Christ warned us not to expect anything of the senses….that we are to invest ourselves with learning from HIS WORDS and putting them IN us and the holy spirit will bring them to mind…..

    All of the ministries offering sensations …feelings….signs …etc are what Jesus warned us to steer clear of …yet these various people have found an audience among the desparate and the ill informed or unlearned and it is an ‘easy’ way to believe that they “HAVE” received from the LORD

    It is not what the words of Jesus indicate

    We ARE to ‘open the eyes of the blind ‘ by way of the WORD …for spiritual blindness that either skews the words of GOD or leads one away from “hearing ‘ any of the hard things is deadly ….

    The WORD is the power of GOD UNTO salvation through learning it FROM HE WHO IS THE WORD and then applying it AS HE directed …

    wow …I have ex-posited again ….B>0!

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