Cheaters are often smooth talkers. They often know what to say in order to get into someone’s pants and into their heart. When you are married to them, it is hard to tell when they are giving you a line and when they are sincere. Since they often know what to say, they make repentance sound heart felt, when their heart was not in it. You may have even been burned by their repentance. So how can you know if the cheater is truly repentant?
The five signs of being truly repentant that I look for include the following:
1. Look at their actions. Have they taken steps to show change or is it limited to talking?
2. Genuine repentance includes a willingness to make things right. Is the cheater willing to make things right?
3. Genuine repentance also includes an admission that what they did was wrong. This includes accepting responsibility for what they did without deflecting matters by blaming you. Blaming is often indicative of them not assuming responsibility for their choices and actions.
4. Listen to your gut. Your gut will alert to to when things just don’t feel right. You gut is also more important than your heart during this time. Your heart can be easily tricked. Although it sounds romantic to ‘follow your heart’, that kind of thinking started the affair in the first place.
5. Genuine repentance acknowledges your pain along with their actions. They recognize the cause and effect of how what they did impacted you.
When these five things are not present, you are likely looking at a cheater weaseling out of things rather than being truly repentant.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
