With fall upon us, I often watch the squirrels scurry around collecting the nuts. One tendency is for them to bite into many of the green pecans, then toss them away since they are not ripe and edible. In a similar manner, serial adulterers go from conquest to conquest, sampling and then discarding. They enjoy the thrill of the hunt and the game of seduction. Going from conquest to conquest leaves them feeling ‘alive’. Although they rarely admit it, their life drive consists in perpetually staying in the chase and seduction part of relationships. When they marry, it is often due to that being a required part of one of their conquest. Their marriages often serve as “home base” or a ‘safe place’ for their continuing conquests. They are often charming and personable, which are skills they need for seduction.
There are also several variations of serial adulterers. There are the ‘Casanova’ types that love them and leave behind their conquests. There are also the ‘trophy takers’. These are often women who go through serial relationships, except that they acquire the trophy of a child from each of their lovers. Yes, there is a male component who ‘leaves children with each of the women they are with.
Dealing with serial adulterers poses some difficult challenges. Since they rarely bond or bond ineffectively with their partners, they do not fully attach. Without the strong attachment to their spouses, it is hard to attain a stable marital relationship. A stable marriage is important in forming attachments and encouraging the adulterer to seriously settle down. The marriage has to be stable and able to contain them and their urges.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
