When an affair happens, your reaction won’t be the same as someone else. So, if you are comparing yourself to an article you read in a magazine, you’ll be disappointed.
Some of you make take the revelation of an affair ‘in stride’ while others may view it as ‘the end of the world’.
In some parts of the world, affairs are viewed as ‘no big deal’, while some communities see them as a threat to the stability of all.
Then there’s the cheater who often doesn’t see the consequences of their action. They don’t understand the impact of their choices on you and others. They may be oblivious to the pain others feel in reaction to what they did.
So how real is the trauma of affair?
The trauma is real. Your marriage has been broken. Some of you may view the damage as beyond repair, while others view it as ‘growth’. Some never get past the damage.You are not ‘imagining’ things.
The impact of the affair is not ‘all in your head’. Real damage has been done. The effects are not all part of your imagination.
Holding in the hurt impacts your health. When you’re dealing with events that change your world, impacts your health in a negative way, and totally changes your outlook on life, it’s definitely traumatic.
Symptoms of headaches, stomach pains, sleep problems, racing heart and difficulty breathing have all been reported.
There are also the symptoms of anxiety, depressed mood, agitation and lethargy.
The degree of trauma you experience is often proportional to the investment you have in your marriage along with your views of marriage. When you view marriage as a contract, then an affair amounts to cheating on a business deal.
When you view marriage a covenant, the commitment is of a more serious nature. In such a case, the affair is a major violation of the covenant.
An affair changes you. The amount of change and severity of the adjustment to the affair often vary. For some, it’s such a shock, you may find yourself in bed for a while just coping with the news. You crater physically and emotionally in response to the news of the affair.
Others may want revenge, or make adjustments in the marriage to deal with the situation. When you can calmly adjust to the change that an affair brings, it raises questions about how committed you were to your marriage in the first place, or whether you are in denial about many more things than the affair.
If you are struggling with the symptoms of trauma after an affair, the video “Dealing With Affair Trauma” gives you way of moving past the trauma and getting unstuck from the symptoms.
Best Regards,
Jeff
