You may have not even heard of the term the ‘technosocial self’. Although you haven’t heard the term, you have experienced the phenomena, especially if your spouse has cheated online or through social networks.
With the increased use of social networks, people are changing. They way you interact with others is changing.
One of those changes is that ‘how‘ people view themselves is changing. Behavior that people would never dream of engaging in, is now what they consider and do in the world of social networking.
Cheaters are willing to engage and interact with people in ways they wouldn’t have considered before or dream of doing in flesh and blood socializing.
The increased use of social networking is impacting how people view themselves. The technosocial self that is developing is more willing to take risk and have emotional of physical affairs.
Social media has allowed cheaters to ‘develop’ a whole new sense of who they are. They are able to split off a portion of who they are.
While they’re still running the home, earning a living and being a decent person, their ‘other self’ or ‘technosocial self’ is running amok in the world of social media. They are flirting, cheating and making passes at people they would never have in the real world.
This new world is like playing ‘Grand Theft Auto’ in real life. A cheater’s technosocial self goes on a rampage of lustful acts, yet excuses it by saying “it’s just a game”. Technology has ‘given them permission’ for unleashing this side of themselves.
The split off of this other side, allows them to deny the affair, even though it is still hot and passionate. If you question them about it, they may say that you’re crazy or paranoid, even though they’re still allowing this alter ego or avatar part of their lives to indulge in all kinds of nefarious desires.
They technosocial cheater denies they did anything wrong. They may even go so far as to say that ‘their avatar’ did it, not them.
When this happens, you are dealing with the ‘technosocial self’ verses reality. This is part of the new world that you live in. Previous generations would say that such behavior is ‘crazy’, the modern generation views it as part of the post human world, where the sense of self is now ‘fluid’ . This fluid self changes as the world changes around them.
These new changes amount to nothing more than new head games to justify indulging their desires. With the new head games comes new jargon. The new jargon of technosocial self amounts to them indulging in ‘evil desires’ but denying responsibility.
I mention this phenomena so that you will be aware of the new terms and ideas being used to justify what old-timers often called ‘sinful behavior’.
You may hear it from your kids or your cheating spouse. When you question it, you will be considered not only ‘living in the past’ but be considered a dinosaur in terms of your thinking, your expectations and living.
Your ideas will be dismissed as relics of a dysfunctional past. They on the other hand will view themselves as ‘evolving’ and ‘progressive’.
The technosocial savvy will always be changing and adapting to new situations like a chameleon. Those who dare to question them will be dismissed or ridiculed. This is modern thinking at its most head headed.
The answer to such situations is to engage them at emotional and relational levels. The technosocial types do not have emotional depth.
By engaging them in such a way, you can pull them out of such thinking. They are so used to living and experiencing the world in cyber-reality, they have sacrificed real contact and engagement.
This is how you can counteract them. Ask questions to make them think, to make them feel, to make them have to interact with you in real-time.
How will you start engaging the cheater to change things?
The damage done, even by the cheater’s avatar is real. If your marriage has been damaged, order the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop“. When done in the correct order, it guides you through what to do and say in getting your marriage back to healthy again.
Best Regards,
Jeff
