Affair Sex Addiction?

A reader posed the question “Is there an affair sex addiction?” If you posed the question to a panel of mental health professionals, you receive mixed answers. Those with medical or academic backgrounds  may say that “there is no such thing as a sexual addiction, much less an affair sex addiction”.

Those with experience dealing with addictions will answer with an unequivocal “Yes!” They know the power of addictions and how they begin.

I am one of those therapists who believes that sexual addictions exists and share many commonalities with other addictive behaviors.

Although I have not specifically encountered an identified “Affair Sex Addict” , I have worked with cheaters and with sex addicts. For a sex addict to have some personal variation of their addiction is not surprising.

The sex addict just wants their sex. They don’t care whether it’s with a married partners or not. Many times addicts have their own personal fetish that is part of their addiction rituals. Their ‘addiction of choice’ to put it another way.

Affairs present some unique angles on sex addiction. Many of those engaging in affairs are married. The married cheaters believe that since they are married, they have built in safeguards or limits due to being married.

Married cheaters look for fun outside of marriage and are not looking for a commitment. For a sex addict to tap into such a population is a dream come true for some of them.

They can have frequent sex with people who want sex without commitment, sex without responsibility. They are attracted to and thrive on the idea of the dangerous woman.

The risk of getting caught and doing something ‘bad’ gives them an adrenaline rush. Besides adrenaline, there is a dopamine rush as well. All it takes is three weeks of dopamine rush and you have the start of an addiction.

Since affairs are ‘risky’ there is an additional chemical rush. When an addict has a way to ‘double’ the pleasure of their high with an additional adrenaline rush, in their mind, it is a ‘no-brainer’. They already have a sensual focus, affairs with married partners is just icing on the cake for them.

Giving a sex addict a way to have sex without responsibility amounts to giving an alcoholic an open bar. Married cheaters mean it is “Open Season for Sex”. Sex with married partners is one way for them to avoid responsibility.

Getting them out of the addiction poses a challenge. They often do not view their behavior as ‘out of control’ or acknowledge the addiction aspect until they are in over their heads.

They’re not thinking rationally when they’re in the midst of the addiction. Each new married person they meat are potential scores for them. The greater the challenge, the greater the adrenaline rush reward.

To sum things up, yes, there are sexual addictions. Some sexual addicts attach themselves to a particular population. It is entirely possible that sex addicts can develop an attachment to married spouses and ‘affair sex addiction’

If you are facing an affair situation, you’ll want to take action. Delaying action is a sure way of making matters worse. The longer the affair lasts, the more damage it does.

You can start your recovery today with the Affair Recovery Workshop. The workshop is downloaded, so that you can start in the privacy of your own home.

The workshop also provides you with what you need for removing the obstacles to communication, and roadblocks to intimacy that contributed to the affair in the first place.

Best Regards,

Jeff

 

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